3 Year Old Behavioral Problems

I don't have many experiences with 3 year olds, but maybe this would be a good time to introduce a sticker chart for good behavior. Everytime she's good, she gets a sticker and when she has a certain number of them (10?) she could get a toy or some other kind of a reward. You could also use it for other things like chores. Hope this helps.

Hi... looks like to me a jealous issue here... I'd make sure that your child knows that you have special time together and that you need to do work outside of the special time and that nothing is threathening your special time... father figure here responding ;-) good luck

K.,

I assume you are having trouble with the three year old. Clearly she is expressing anger either because she has to share her things. But more than likely she does not like sharing YOU.

First I would ask her why she is throwing things. Maybe the boys have been doing something that bothers her.

Once you have determined why she is throwing things. Tell her why you need to take care of the boys. Perhaps you could say that their mommy works and the boys need nice people like You and her to help take care of them.

Finally, I would get your daughter involved in helping to take care of the boys (children at this age love helping). Tell her what a good helper she is. Also, get her involved in playing games that she likes,You and the boys should be included in these games, this may get her to see that the boys aren't that bad to have around.

I have a three year old too and babysit. Sometime Andy threws things at the kids and I have no clue what to do. I think its cause he gets sick of the child being there. Its tough for him to understand that mommy get paid to have the child there. I sometimes tell Andy that he is your friend and we dont treat friends that way. Some times it works and sometimes not.

The very best parenting book I have read and practice is
SIBLINGS WITHOUT RIVALRY, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.
Also by these authors is HOW TO TALK SO YOUR KIDS WILL LISTEN AND LISTEN SO YOUR KIDS WILL TALK. I have 4 children, 22, 21, 16 and 12. When they were young I was having issues like all new parents and heard these ladies on Oprah. I bought the book and read the 1st 2 chapters, tried a couple of things and was amazed at the results. I kept that book on the counter for a few years, refering to it often. The tools given to communicate contructively with my children helped them to deal with all life situations: daycare in my home, friends, school mates, and teachers. I give this book to friends and family members when they have their first child.

I run on but just one more thing, if you catch the little problems early and deal with them constructively you will be able to deal with the big problems later on. Enjoy your children!

Remove her from the other children when she acts that way. Tell her that her behavior is unacceptable and why, then put her in her room or time out (away from the others) for 3-5 minutes. The last thing any child wants is to be away from the action. By letting her know that if she chooses to act in a way that is unacceptable she have to miss out on being with everyone else, she will choose to act acceptable.

This is called "acting out". You might want to stop babysitting and pay more attention to your daughter. With the new child in the family, I'm sure she feels your attention has shifted to the other child. And, with the addition of other children in the house, she is sure to need more reassurance from mommy.

Hi K., I am sorry I'm responding to this late. I have a three year old daughter, too, with the execption, of I have three older boys. She is also into throwing items, or even hitting the boys. I have found a solution, and I hope this one works. I have tried the time out thing, with no prevail. I have tried the sticker thing, and that did not work either. I finnally sat down with her, like a big girl, and asked her why she was doing it. She told me it's because they tease her and make her feel like a baby. She does not like being treated like one. So, we have enrolled her into Preschool. She goes three times a week for three hours a day. She feels she is a big girl going to school. That may be another idea for you. Just see what the preschools in your area say. I know when my second boy was born, my oldest was a bit jealous, but he realized after awhile, that mommy takes care of baby, then me. I get more time with mommy than any body else. Just encourage your daughter, that when the kids go home, you have more time with her. If she does not take naps, and the other kids do, spend some time with your three year old. Let her help you with chores at that time, and explain to her, that the other kids can not help you, only she can. Maybe she will come out of it.

Hope all goes well with this.

Hmm I am not sure I can't be for certain but I have a four year old that went through that and once he hurt his brother he stopped it. Sorry I can't be more of a help. C.

It is jealousy. Due to the new baby and that you are babysitting your oldest daughter feels left out wants any attention that she can get.
Just make sure to give her a big hug and tell her that this is unacceptable behavior and that one the boys are gone that you will spend time w/her alone even if it is 15 min. Maybe you should get a little girl her age to babysit so she can play with her.
I remember when my mom babysat for a boy my age and a baby girl that the boy and i would fight for attention from my mom and try to help my mom by fighting for who would feed the baby. anyway, when i was kindergarden age and my mom and those kids would wave to me when i left for the bus no wonder i acted up and didnt want to go to school.
Just try to spend time alone with the oldest as much as you can and you shouldnt have any problems with her.

L. mother of 4

As a stay at home mom who runs an in home daycare so my family can EAT, I totally disagree with Betsy J. It is not always an option to give up extra income.... I also have a 3 year old daughter, K.. She also had some issues when I began daycare. I made sure to spend extra time (after daycare) with her and also explained why the other kids came here. IE: There mommies and daddies had to go to work, so they come over to play with you. I also do not let my daycare kids go into my kid's rooms. That way, they have their own private space if they need to get away. We ALL need that sometimes... Hope this helps.

One idea is to put a chair out in the hallway , separate from where you are all interacting and make her have a time-out in it for 3 mins (they say one min per year of age)every time she throws a toy. You could also take they toy she throws and put it in a box to be confiscated for a week.
Also, maybe she's jealous. If you think that that maybe the problem, you might want to make sure you have some quality one-on-one time with her when you can. Hope this helps!