3-Year-old Afraid of Dogs

Yes, my grandaughter HATES dogs too. My fiance has two small dogs & my grandaughter has JRA, which is painful at times, one of the dogs knocked her down when she was having an episode (she was 3 at the time) & i think that formed her opinion. She goes to childrens hospital 2 times per month for treatments & sometimes they bring a dog into the I.V. room...at 1st she was petrified but after much coaxing she will now touch the dog & take a pic with it. At my house we taught her to be in commanmd of the dogs & use a firm voice to tell them "DOWN" or "OUTSIDE" & it seems to be the answer, giving her the power to control the dog instead of feeling like she is a victim of the dog. She is getting much better...good luck

Maybe a stuffed dog and cat would help him. Then he can get used to them being around. My daughter was scared at first too until about a year old, now every time she sees a dog she barks and gets excited. Perhaps spending some time outside walking with one of your friends when they walk their dog might help too.

Hello, I feel so bad for your dad and son. Perhaps you could find someone who has a real calm one like you said he is okay around. Then try to have him to be around that dog a few times and see if it helps.
Recently, our son and his girlfriend came to visit. We have a small dog which belongs to one of our grandsons. It has always been very good with the kids. However, our son's stepson was very aggressive with the dog and it finally snapped at him. We tried to show him how to touch the dog with nice touches and not scream in her face. The mother decided that the dog was bad. That and a few other things caused a very bad visit. I think this time the dog was scared of the child. I feel bad for her and for the little boy. He will not be able to have a warm relationship with a pet if he isn't taught how to behave with one. The mother's reply to my husband telling her that he needed to be taught how to be with a dog was, "Teach a three year old?!!" We are teaching our infant grandaughter for not only the dog's welfare, but also (and most important) for her welfare as well.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.

I'm sorry to hear your son has a fear of dogs! My family has always been a dog family, so I actually don't have much experience with the fear.

A few suggestions though. Try having your son help pour the dog food in their bowl, or to offer them a dog treat/bone. Do any of them fetch? Perhaps he could help throw a ball for the dog to fetch. Maybe that will help him calm down around them and perhaps find them fun!

My son developed a major fear of dogs around age 2....so much so that we had to cross the street if someone was walking with a dog , it made no difference what size dog it was either , this fear seemed to come out of nowhere , we have never had a dog but my SIL has had a dog since my son was born so he grew up with it , and still this fear developed , he is 6 now and no longer afraid , it passed as quickly as started. I think it's just a thing they go through , all we did was kept taking him to places where dogs would be , including SIL and just reassured him that the dogs would not hurt him. My daughter is now going through a similar thing but with bugs!!

I think he is a little bit small to do anything about it right now. And I mean that he is right at eye level with a Labrador. Dogs can be pretty overwhelming, so try to foster a relationship with some of your friends dogs, but if that doesn't work, then respect his feelings by doing your best to keep the dogs out of your son's space (and lunch!) WHen you are at the park, point out dogs that you see behaving well and playing with kids throwing a ball, etc, just so he will notice that kids actually have fun with their dogs. As he grows, he might be more open to having them around.

Of course, you don't want him to be afraid of dogs, but I think that is a pretty natural response for a three year old. From his position, dogs are alien, scary, loud and possibly dangerous. I would suggest two things. One, that you take him to visit a puppy-very small, non-threatening-so that he can get used to the idea that maybe dogs aren't so bad. Two, that you take your son's side. Sympathizing with him about it, maybe even empathizing and telling him you understand and you know what it's like, might make him open up and listen to you about it.

Do a Google Search on "3 year old afraid of dogs."

Also though, at this age, developmentally, they have 'fears' of certain things. To us adults, it may not make sense, but a 3 year old has an imagination... and fears come out.

My daughter, since as long as I can remember, fears dogs. She says they are too fast, too unpredictable, too big, too rough, too loud, too much spit, bark too much etc. etc. Its fine... she likes cats better because they are more "gentle" and mellow. Its not because anything 'bad' happened to her with a dog... she just does not 'like' dogs and finds them un-nerving and even their tail is just so "hyper" as it wags, as she says, and she doesn't like getting licked or jumped on etc. For us, we are all animal/pet loving people and no one else has any dog 'fears' in our family.

Also at this age, they DO have phases of liking something or someone, then not liking them. All part of their age.

My daughter is now 7... and sometimes she says she likes dogs... now. But we tried many things and we can't make her 'like' dogs completely nor to play with them. We leave it up to her and her feelings of safety and comfort. Or for now, she only likes "small" dogs. So that's a lot for her.

All the best,
Susan

I agree with the others who have said that you should not expect your 3-year to overcome a fear of dogs.

If I was near an excited, barking animal with big teeth that liked to lick my face and was about my size or even bigger, I'd be scared too. Personally, I think that one should be cautious with dogs around small children, no matter how sweet you think the dog is. As another mom mentioned, kids are often at face-to-face level with a dog which could be perceived (by the dog) as aggression.

And, my personal opinion is that responsible dog owners control their dogs and don't let them near people that are bothered by or scared of them.

To me, this is very typical. When we got both of our dogs, each of my girls was about 2 or 3 years old. They were both very afraid of the dogs. (note that one was done in 1987 and then again in 2006) The girls knew that the dog was a dog and that was very good. Dogs are not human and they can bite. The key is to have them be a part of the training of the dog. My youngest is the best person with our dog. The dog and her have the best connection. They have learned to read each other. She can be very calm with him and that helps so much. He protects her. Good luck.

We have a 95 lb lab and when kids are scared of him this is what's worked - we have him lay all the way down, have our 2 year old get on his back and bear hug him, and then let the other child pet him on the back. Generally they get some confidence from seeing another toddler loving the dog and get a little more brave over the next few minutes and will move up towards his head. I would say more exposure to mellow dogs (however big they are) over hyper dogs as often as you can and once he gets more used to dogs in general the hyper ones won't bother him as much. That's just what I've seen work, maybe worth trying?

Jae R,

Unfortunately it takes one incident for small children. I have had dogs all my life and my oldest when he called my mothers dog when he was little bit him, he was afraid of small dogs for many years after. He did outgrow this fear, of this I can assure you. I have three grown children all of which have dogs, mostly medium to large and there is no longer any fear in them towards dogs, just guarded caution when approaching new dogs they don't know. Your son will learn new behaviors as he gets older, don't worry. The fact that the fear of dogs runs in your family can be another contributing factor, your families behavior around dogs will influence his attitude towards dogs.

Your family will have to show your son that not all dogs are ill-behaved, or just not trained or taught better behaviors. I currently have three dogs and they are very well behaved, since I treat them much like children (and they are children) they do as a child who has learned correct behaviors while in personal company and socializing with others. The only difference is that they are walking on four legs and cannot speak.

Dogs have behaviors that will tell you when to worry, such as when they put their ears back and growl, this means danger to the offending or approaching individual or animal. If they cower this is their fear of the individual or animal. Go to the library or rent video tapes or DVD's and get these items on animal behavior and learn the behaviors that could mean danger and then remember them. This will help you to overcome your fear of dogs and help your son learn how to cope with all types and sizes of dogs.

The Learning Channel, Animal Planet Channel and maybe discovery channel on dish network also has shows that will help with this aspect of learning about animals and when it is safe and when it is not safe for animal and or humans to approach.

there is homeopathic remedy to help with fear of dogs, but you will not be able to buy it w/o medical license in US, you could venture and order from Helios in UK, but the potency will have to selected by professional homeopath.
Good Luck
V.

My daughters the same. She likes dogs alot-when they are "over there". But, not up close and personal. I have no solution. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.