My daughter, who turns 2 next month, is getting really upset when I put her down to sleep. She has always been an excellent sleeper with no fussing at all when going down, and she is a very easygoing child. She rarely gets too upset about anything unless she is physically hurt or if I accidentally hurt her feelings. All of a sudden in the past couple weeks, she has started to get really upset when I put her down for her nap or for bedtime. She cries really hard (real tears in buckets & wailing) for several minutes before going to sleep. Once she is asleep, she stays that way, though.
I will sit in the rocker with her and read and cuddle for a while before bed, but I am firm about staying in bed when it's bedtime, and she's still in a crib, so she doesn't wander out or anything.
I am concerned that she is getting so upset, as this is really out of character for her. I know it is difficult with her Dad being on deployment (since November... it isn't new), and I have started packing up the house a little because we're moving soon, but she's always so happy that this new development is a bit disturbing.
Any thoughts on what might be the cause/cure for this?
Thanks for the great responses! All you moms are so great! As it turns out, the problem stopped just as suddenly as it started, so I guess we'll never know what the issue was. Thank God my girl is a happy sleeper again!
My oldest daughter did this type of thing. She was in a panic every night- it was so awful to put her to bed. We went ahead and switched her to a twin bed and it all stopped. I believe she was afraid of being confined in the crib. She was around 22 months when it happened. Good Luck!
L., kids all go through phases. My daughter has swung back and forth from being a great sleeper to a bedtime terror.
Possible causes:
1. Illness/Teething
2. Change in routine
3. Growth Spurts
4. As they get older, sometimes they need less sleep.
All of these things have caused sleep issues with my daughter. The very WORST is change in routine, usually due to illness or travel. We have a very simple routine and any time I change any part of it, going to sleep is a battle.
I've found that when she started to need less sleep that we also had a hard time. You might try putting her down for a shorter nap and/or maybe letting her stay up an extra 30 minutes to see if that helps. But definitely make sure NO MATTER what that you have a wind down routine and go through each step leading up to bedtime.
Our routine:
Bath time
Dry off/get jammies (in a dimly lit room)
Brush teeth/read one story
Go through the house and say good night to everything
Prayers
Into the bed we go!
Good luck, I wish you all the best!
First, God Bless you and your Hubby and child. My husband also served in Afghanistan while my kids were young and I know the sacrifce you are making and I truly appreciate it. Second, even though your hubby has been gone a while, it still could be related to the move & him being gone. Kids don't know how to process all that info and maybe she has a worry that you guys will be leaving without daddy. I don't think you can talk to her and explain any of it, but you can say things like "today I'm packing Daddy's stuff to go to our new house so we'll have everything he needs when he comes home" and comments like that so she gets that reassurance that daddy will be coming with you. Also, it could just be that she's having a little separation anxiety. Again, Dad's gone, you are moving, you are about to start a job, etc. In a little mind, that might be a lot to process. I don't know what you can do about it other than get through it though...You still need to put her down so you can get things done, she still needs to know that rules are rules, and you said you do cuddle and rock her before nap and bed, so she's getting that time. Maybe get one of those baby photo albums and put pictures of you and hubby in it so she has you guys "with" her for bed. When we were in this situation, both of mine went to bed fine, but I think over the 2 years he was deployed, I could count on one hand the number of mornings I woke up alone! One or both were always in my bed and my daughter wouldn't spend the night out although it wasn't an issue before my hubby deployed. Amazingly, they both stayed in bed all night AS SOON AS MY HUBBY RETURNED! It was the weirdest thing!
Hang in there!
I do not have any suggestions. Just wanted to THANK YOU and your husband for putting your lives togather on hold so that my family will be sleeping in a safe, comfortable and free United States Of America. May God bring your family togather again very soon happy and healthy.
I have a 2 year old son, and we are going through the same thing. But after a few minutes, he calms himself, and goes to sleep. I just thry to keep everything quiet and low before bedtime. That seems to help cut down on his time upset. I think he just doesn't want to miss anything! I am sure that it's just a phase, and will pass! Hang in there!
Your daughter may be experiencing a little anxiety. Children are so bright and pickup on situations that we might not realize that they are aware of. The new move could be the issue. I am sure she realizes that you are packing up things. Changes always affect children even when they are really great. I would keep the same routine for nap. This will probably pass. Obviously she needs the nap or she wouldn't fall to sleep pretty quickly. Wouldn't it be a blessing if they all came with a book?
My son is doing the same thing. My husband has been gone for almost 2 months...he got transferred to another state so I am here to pack up and sell the house and then we will move in a couple of weeks so we will all be together again. But just wanted to let you know that it isn't just you...my son is normally super happy and easy going but lately it is just one tantrum after the next and taking naps and going to bed is now tantrum time, too. I am sure it will get better with time. I am sorry I don't have any suggestions for you. But I wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Just stay consistent and it will eventually correct itself, I believe. That's what I am doing. :)
Hi L., Have you asked your daughter whats bothering her and really listen? If your husband has been gone for months, most likely this isn't the issue.
Try to talk to her and found out what her fears are. No matter what it is, it's real to her and should be taken serious. Parents tend to mis-understand the situation and in doing so they dismiss the problem that is real to the child. There is a under-lying problem, but as parents we must listen, understand and no matter how unreal or silly it seems to us, it's not to the child. Make sure to validate your child's feelings or they may not talk to you about them. Never make a child feel that their feelings are not important. What's real to her should be real to you in order to help her.
Example: A child thinks there is a monster in the closet and you tell them there is no such thing as monsters, or that they are being silly. Instead of validating what she feels, you've told her that her feelings don't matter.
What I would do instead is this: When your child says, "There is a monster in the closet" it's real to them. So go over to the closet and open it and ask her where it is, if she says it right in front of you then demand the monster to leave, tell it that it's not allowed in the house ever again. You have now validated your childs feelings. Leave a night light on if necessary. So there's no monster to you, but that's not what's important, it's validating a child's feelings and letting them know your there for them. I've done this for a niece and it's worked. It made a big difference and so can you.
Love and Light,
Rev. G. Hudson, Reiki Master.
www.reikigailhudson.com
My 25 month old recently started the same thing (and we too are in the process of a move, but this started before the boxes came). I have been telling her as soon as she cries "You are okay, you have blankie, glow worm...." Sometimes if I hand her a book to read to her doll she calms down and goes to sleep, and I ususally say I'll be back in3 minutes to check on you, then I do that and say I'll be back in 10 minutes etc... she usually falls right to sleep. I have found that having her in bed for our nighttime routine has helped... sepoerating her from me after rocking and reading made it rougher. My daughter is in a toddler bed though, it might be hard to read to a child while in a crib.
