2 Sons in the Military

I am assuming it's normal for military moms. When my husband was in the military and was often deployed or in training those exact questions constantly ran through my head. It was so hard to have him away and try to focus on life at home without him there.
I just immersed myself in as many hobbies, activities, time with friends, etc. But I have to admit nothing stopped me from thinking of him and wondering how it was going for him.

Judy and H., thank you both for your courageous sons!

I'm not a military mom, yet, but my mom was since I was in the Navy, my MIL too since I met my husband in the Navy. Both of my grandmothers were since my dad was in the Army in Vietnam and my uncles on my mom's side were both in the Navy. My grandfather served in WWII also, so we're just a military family way back.

I know that my mom would call me at least once a week to chat and that she sent care packages all the time. My parents also made a point of visiting me at least twice a year wherever I was stationed (more often than that when I was in Hawaii! lol!). I think that seeing how I was living and witnessing my daily life in person put their minds at ease. Also, the hubs and I aren't in the military any more, but we still live 3000 miles away from my family, so we're setting up webcams for video chat so my folks can see the kids more often. Maybe that would help you.

You should know that your sons are being well taken care of by the military. They are sure of getting enough to eat and always having a place to sleep as well as constructive work to do that can make them proud of themselves. Getting "enough" sleep is another matter and depends on what they're doing, but they are young and strong I am sure, and going a little short on sleep isn't going to do them any lasting harm. Yes there are other risks associated with military service, but your sons are adults and have made those decisions for themselves. They know that you worry about them, but probably hope that your pride in their service will help to make up for some of the worry.

Anyways, your worry and anxiety are understandable and I'm sure very normal, especially this day and age. Just remember not to burden your sons with it. A strong and supportive mother is the best friend a young single guy in the military could have. :)

I am not a military mom nor is my husband in the military but as a mom of soon to be 4 boys, I read your post and could imagine myself feeling what you must be feeling. :( I just wanted to give you a "virtual hug".

H.,

I am also a mother of four and about to become a military mom. My 17-year-old son will leave for Air Force basic training on August 10. He is pursuing a career in avionics and this is a wonderful opportunity for him, so I'm trying to focus on that. Concentrating on the bigger picture and what he will gain (his degree, high-tech, specialized, hands-on training, exceptional leadership training, unique travel experiences, a solid income with good benefits, etc.) keeps my spirits up. When I think about the adult he will become because of his choice, I'm filled with pride. I realize he hasn't left yet and I may feel totally differently when he does, but I am really going to try to remain very positive. I want him to always know that I support him 100%, I believe wholeheartedly in his abilities and I know he will make the most of this opportunity. When I keep those thoughts at the forefront of my mind, I feel everything will be OK.

I've been thinking about posting here for awhile now just to seek out any local support groups. I'm not far from you, so I'll be happy to work together with you to support each other if you're interested. :0)

My thoughts and prayers go out to your two boys. My husband's nephew is currently on his way home from his first deployment to Iraq. I thank God every day for these brave souls who ensure our freedom and keep our country safe.

Warm regards, L.

I hope you have a military family support group in your area. It is great to have people you can talk to who are going through the same thing. What you are feeling is normal. My husband is retired military, and one way I used to cope was to send him care packages. And make sure he got mail daily. When he would get home, he would let me know how great it was to always here his name called at mail call. And thanks to both of your sons for their service to our country.

H.,

Both our boys are in the military, one in the Air Force and one in the Coast Guard. It is normal to feel that way, try your hardest to keep busy and I always have boxes for each of them in the house and when I see something they would like I pick it up for them and put it in the box and we send it off when it is full. Our youngest son (Air Force) is deployed he cannot tell us where he is going, but we do get an address to send things to him, we know he loves movies, so every week we go and get the lastest movies from Best Buy and mail them to him so he can watch them on his laptop. We also got him one with a webcam so he can Skype us when ever possible.

Our other son is now moving (next week) for the 5 time in his career and we will get to see him and his wife on they way to their new home NC from Seattle, where his new job will entail a lot of travel to disasters all over the world (yes the Coast Guard goes everywhere).

I can say it might be a little easier for me as I was raised in a military family and my dad would leave a lot to go where ever he was needed as a Marine, but they are still my boys and I worry and love them both.

H.,
I am not a military mom nor am I in your position, but I am a mother of two boys and a girl and as a mother I can imagine what you feel. In all I think all you are feeling is very normal. I know you said you try to keep busy and that's the best thing to do, and of course things don't always work the way we plan them, but just keep doing what you are doing. Try talking to your pastor, priest, etc. and seek some counsel to help you deal with it better. Stay focus in knowing that you did a great job as a mother and that they are doing well. Every time you think about them, pray for them. Pray God's wisdom, guidance and supernatural protection over them. Write them, send them letters letting them know that you are constantly thinking about them and if you have the time start a journal. In the journal you can share with them what they are missing here that you know they would like to be a part of. Take pictures and develop two copies, one to send to them and another one for your journal or photo album. Let them know that even when they are far away they are still a part of your life and you miss them.
Don't think that you only have to write them or the journal when big events or things are happening! Do it at all times with little things and big things.
But the most important of all things I've said is to pray, pray for yourself that God gives you the peace you need to deal with this and that He protects them where they are.
Blessings
PS. I'll keep them in my prayers (and you too)

H.
Hi! I'm a military mom too. My youngest is in the Air Force. I can't express how proud I am of him. He 'mapped' this out for himself starting in middle school. And the economy what it is, I almost had my oldest considering it too! Free housing, free food, free healthcare, free training, free dental care, free eye care, a paycheck, college credits....try to think about that. They'll have it made in the shade when they get out.

Another thing that helps me keep in touch with my Airman is facebook, cellphone calls, but Skype. It's free free free. So if your boys have, perhaps, a laptop and webcam, and you too, it's a way to see them, talk with them. Or just chat back and forth with text. It's really a very good medium.
But you're more than welcome to email me too, just as another military mom. I understand how you feel. Mine's coming home next week for about a month, and then being shipped to Germany (yuck. I mean Cyprus or Italy would've been a lot better! I could get to Greece from either!!!!)

I know other moms with sons in the military too. we could maybe all connect.

One of the women that I work with is in your same situation...she has 2 sons, and both are in the service, 1 army, 1 navy. I know that she is very active with the military family support group that she found...not sure if it's through one of her son's or how she found it, but I could get the information for you. I'm out of town right now, but can ask her next week.

please email me at ____@____.com next week and I'll let you know what I found out.

I think what you're feeling is perfectly normal! I'm sure it's difficult for people not related to military personnel to fully understand your worries. The support group would really help you alot. I know that they do fundraisers and send supplies overseas. And those families can totally relate to all of your feelings :)

D.

I am just reading your post today and what you are feeling is very normal. My husband has been deployed 3 times since we have been married. He is very,very busy when he is deployed, so communication is h*** o* a weekly basis, but my insecurities have faded with each deployment. If you contact your son's units their should be family support groups that you can get in contact with. Sometimes it helps to have family members from the same units to talk with since you will all be going through the same thing. Your boys will also have times when they miss home, so care packages and letters are always nice to send.

Can you get involved with other military moms? Check with your local Veterans Affairs program for starters.

I am sorry you are having a hard time. I don't have any advice; I just wanted to say THANK YOU so much for your sons' service and for your own. You (and others who have commented below) have raised very brave and valorous young people who are keeping us all safe. Whenever I think of our service people I always give special thanks to their families who are sacrificing so much for the greater good. The parents and spouses and children often don't have any choice in being apart from their loved one in the service -- and all the emotional and practical hardships that absence brings -- and I think they deserve special commendations for that. Hang in there!