1St Grader Wants to Stay Home from School

I am a kindergarten teacher and I would really want to know if one of my students didn't want to come to school! I think you should talk to the teacher. I agree with the others that it could be that someone/thing is bothering her. In most situations, school isn't boring - even for high achieving students. I have had students tell their parents that they don't want to come to school and later found out the reason was a 'friend' said he/she wouldn't sit by them on the bus anymore or on a different occasion that someone was calling them by the wrong name. To the children, these were a really, really big deal - mainly because they hadn't had to deal with kids not being nice before. Good luck!

You should definitely talk to the teacher and find out if there have been any incidences etc. (kids picking on her, new work that she doesn't like etc.) Also, when my daughter had problems I volunteered in the classroom, so I could observe personally.

Good Luck.

D.

My son is also 7 and in 1st grade and is also academically way ahead of the game. He is saying the same kind of thing and I know in his case, it's definitely lack of challenge. Take a good look at the materials she brings home. Is it ALL material she knew previously? Really drill her with questions about what she learned that was new today. Kids really need to be presented with new material on a daily basis to keep their moral high. I'd definitely talk to your teacher as well. I've also found that if you can volunteer or sit in the classroom for a few hours, it is really helpful to get a feel for how the school day goes.

Good luck!

My daughter had the same problem in kindergarten and after about 2 weeks I found out that it was one of those little things (to us) that feels like a huge thing to the child. She was upset because one of her assistant teachers kept telling her to color nicely, inside the lines. (My daughter is a very flamboyant artist and likes to scribble the whole page with color.) It took tons of prodding to get this little tidbit of information out of my little girl, but once we figured out what it was and talked about it, things were fine!

The fact that your daughter is doing so well in school may be part of the "problem". My son was the same way (still doesn't like school mmuch but has learned to live with it, he's in 3rd Grade) Anyways his complaint was that he was bored and it turned out when he was tested in second grade that he was a "gifted"/advanced kid, way high on the score charts. I always thought that if one did good in school they'd like it but my son was the opposite, the better he did the more bored he got. Now that he is in advanced classes, even if its only an hour or two a week he is more challenged and happier in the school environment. If your daughter is saying she is bored and doing really well in school I'd suggest not reading more into it that, yes, she's bored. Ask your teacher about advanced placement testing and see what the school can do for her if she is found to be "gifted". Even a small amount of more challenging material made a big difference in my sons happiness at school. Ask your teacher if she can give her additional work in reading, math, etc, more challenging books, whatever to keep her more challenged during the day. Unfortunately with the way classrooms are structured there is not a lot offered to kids at the elementary school level but at least knowing the cause of her boredom might help in finding something that will alleviate it somewhat.
K. H.

Maybe she's just too developmentally advanced to enjoy sitting through the "easy stuff". Is it possible for you to volunteer in her class from time to time to see firsthand what's going on? I would definitely talk with her teacher again and see if she needs to be challenged more . . . Good luck!

Sounds like you can take her at face value-that she's bored! If she's very advanced, this wouldn't be really surprising. Is she or should she be in a gifted program to give her more of a challenge? Is she otherwise happy-socially, etc.? I would look into this area too and make sure she's not being teased or something else that might be making her uncomfortable, which she is masking by saying she's bored.

The only bit of help I can offer is for you to consider putting your daughter in a school that allows children to excel at their own pace. If she is ready for more advanced work....give it to her; other wise you may end up with trouble on your hands in the future.....realistically I know private schooling is expensive but if you can find one that works for you your daughter may really benefit from the challenge. She is only in first grade and she is already bored....can you imagine going through twelve more years where you are completely bored most of your day. I know that would drive me nuts and I would easily loose interest.

The other thought that crosses my mind is extra curicular activities. Is your daughter involved in anything outside of school? Something fun that she can look forward too.

Good luck!

I am a teacher. I would recommend that you meet with the teacher to brainstorm some ideas.

I use to be a first grade teacher and I would suggest you talk to the teacher. She might have some insight on what is going on, but if it is only a phase...Maybe the teacher could have a special "job" for your daughter during this transition time. (pass out papers, deliver something to another teacher, erase the board, etc)Kids typically love doing things like that for their teacher.

As a former teacher, I can tell you I would definitly want to know. I agree with the others, talk to the teacher. They are there to help and want what is best for your child. That is why they are there. Good Luck!

This also happened to my daughter and it was just what she said, she was bored. She was reading at a fourth grade level in first grade and her teachers were worried about challenging her. The school didn't help me and I couldn't afford to put her in a private, more accelerated school. She is now in fifth grade and school work is not going so good, my advanced child stopped caring and only does minimum work to get by. I wish I would have put her in more educational after school programs or more sports anything to keep her busy. Another heads up, she was teased for being "the smart girl" in third grade she cried for getting good grades and just wanted to be "normal"
I giggled when I saw that she cried at the end of the year, my daughter used to do that too!!!
Good Luck, girls are not easy at this age!!!!!

Hi Tanua, I always thought it was boys who were bored with school. My boys are in 4th and 2nd grade. I endured years of the I don't want to go to school today. It is very hard to figure out if they are trying to tell me something or if they just want to stay home and play or if they know that they are getting to you. For me I think it was a little of both. This year is the first year that I have had little complaining about going to school. We did switch to a christian school. So I can't really say what is different. The schedule is a little different at the school so they comment that school seems to go faster at their new school. They get a few more recesses also. I know what helps with us is that we are doing a better job at making sure the boys are prepared with all homework assignments done. When I can I pick them up from school, I volunteer when I can and they are doing some extra-curricular activities. I still stay sensitive to their requests and ask a lot of questions to make sure I am not missing something. I would encourage you to talk with the teacher sooner than later just to stay connected. One thing that I do think we do not talk to our kids enough about is how do you think you could keep yourself entertained when the teacher is busy. Reading, drawing or writing in a journal, looking out the window for signs of nature, etc. I believe it can be a teaching opportunity for a life long lesson. Even as adults we get bored and sometimes it's okay. I know for our boys they still love to play. Good Luck, A.

My first suggestion is to volunteer in your daughter's classroom for at least part of a day, so you can observe first hand what her day is like. It may be that she is not being challenged enough, or it could be something like bullying or other social issues. Talk privately, one on one with your daughter's teacher too to address your concerns. If you can't volunteer at school, play "school" with your daughter at home. Let her be "teacher" and see how she portrays it, and have her use you and some dolls or stuffed toys as "students" - that may give you some clues to how she is experiencing school. Good luck!

My daughter is in first grade too and doing the same thing. I have her in couseling and was told that going from kindergarten to first grade is such a huge transition as big as highschool to college that is was to overwhelming and stressful for my daughter, and my daughter was having a really hard time with the girls at school this year they are so mean...They've threatened to scratch her glasses with pencils, say she has "preschool" clothes cute stuff from gymboree it's not to babyish I think it's cute and trendy, they are very very very competative about reading levels and academics it's a nightmare. My daughter is not a brat, or dorky or anything either. I'm 27 so I'm pretty good at keeping her looking trendy and she use to be extrememly outgoing and popular before 1st grade. She was invited to 8 birthday parties last year then this year not a single birthday party. So I'd look around and investigate what's going on probaly something is bothering her or she could be really bored. My daughter get's bored too and she's not even an acelerated reader yet. My daughter's books and flash cards are to easy and pointless so we don't do them anymore and like I said my daughter isn't a AR Reader yet. She's nailing her spelling tests and math too. There's so many kids that are doing horrible they keep the whole class behind almost. I've noticed my daughter's class has alot of minorities and immigrint students that are not up to par at all.... so I've been thinking of switching schools to get more daughter around kids who are more like us speak english as a first language and have good parents who really push their kids.

I agree with both theses posts...talk to the teacher, this will at least alert her to watch for unusual things going on. Sometimes the teacher does not see all: other kids may be saying things to her in the bathroom, at lunch etc. Kids can be so mean about stupid things like clothes, glasses, hair. Try to get books from the library that talk about self esteem and arm her with responses if kids are saying/doing mean things. Also, help her build her friendships....see if she can single out a few good friends in class. Invite them over for play dates, sleep overs etc. It is easier to handle mean kids if she knows a couple kids are on her side and will stand up to the brats! Help her have learning experiences outside of the classroom too. We have so many great museums, zoos etc...where she can learn a lot of new and interesting things!

My only other input would be to check out any possibilities of bullying. It could be something related to her doing so well in school and other kids commenting on it negatively, or it could be something altogether different. Or I could be completely off-base, but after reading the other comments, it was the only thing that I could add.

Talk to the teacher~

T. -

I would talk with her teacher for sure. You can also call the social worker at school. They might have some ideas as well and it is possible you need to get her IQ tested and she may need to advance if she is bored.

When my daughter was having trouble with 1st grade at the beginning of the year, I talked to her teacher and the social worker. They worked together with her and came up with a great idea to help her get excited about going to school. Since then, we haven't had any problems.

Hope this helps. Feel free to email me if you have any other questions or want to chat about 7 yr olds (my girls will be 7 in March).

Thanks,
A.
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She may need to be challenged more. The same thing happened to me when I was in the middle of 5th grade. I was a book ahead in everything, even though I stayed home from school. I feigned illness a lot but really I was just bored. Lucky I had a great teacher who noticed it all. She talked to my mom and they bumped me up to the middle of 6th grade. I was apprehensive but I trusted them and it turned out to be just what I needed. I didn't want to stay home from school anymore. I continued getting good grades through the rest of my school years.