19 Month Old Wakes up Throughout the Night

You need to just bite the bullet, hopefully he has his own room. I have been putting my girl in her crib awake with a full belly since 2 months old and she sleeps all the way through. Granted she likes to sleep but she has learned how to fall asleep on her own from the beginning and now at 22 months she walks to her crib when she is tired. Bedtime is 7:30 with one afternoon nap. What a difference a rested child is! She does have a lovey and her blanket and that helps. A great book i used was Secrets of the Baby Whisperer but it was more for newborn stages. You may have a rough week but eventually he'll sleep on his own like everyone does and it will be worth it. good luck!

we used the Dr. Ferber sleep training. Its a cry it out system of active waiting. It worked for us. It was way harder on us than it was on baby. however, he is sleeping through the night, and falling asleep again on his own if he wakes during the night.

You should try to locate a doctor who specializes in sleeping issues for children, if possible. One thing I learned the hard way, but it is the NUMBER ONE mantra: Every Child Is Different. That means a lot of things, and one of the things it means is: every child will respond differently to a particular solution or treatment.

I have three boys, ages 7, 4 and 1.5. My first boy -- my 7 yr old -- had significant sleeping difficulties punctuated throughout his life. The other two boys don't seem to have the problem.

It began when my 7 year old was about 6-9 months, I believe. He would not just wake up crying or screaming or something... He would wake up FRUSTRATED. I knew it was his "frustration voice" because I got used to what it sounded like. But what was weirder is that when he started fussing in the middle of the night, he'd often sit up and fuss while staring into space. He wouldn't look at us, wouldn't acknowledge that we were there, nothing. The episodes got worse and worse. When he was around 2-ish it really got bad.

One of the episodes I remember best was the "Harold the Helicopter" night. Harold was a little toy from the Thomas the Tank Engine collection, and he loved his Harold. He would always hold it tucked between his thumb and index finger and walk around with it much of the day. He would have huge fits if he didn't know where his Harold was, so it became sort of a security blanket. So we let him sleep with Harold and one night all hell broke loose. He sat up making his super-frustrated grunting and whining sounds, which slowly devolved into crying, and that spiraled into a complete non-stop breakdown that lasted an hour, at 2 am. My wife and I tried everything to stop him, but it was like we were invisible. And what he was doing was this: He'd hold his Harold in the air and drop him onto the mattress. Then he'd have a fit and try again, and again, and again.

Episodes like this would persist nightly for 2-4 months, and then stop... Suddenly he'd sleep through the night like any other boy, and we'd think the problem has passed. Then after a couple of months it'd kick right back in again for another 2-4 months.

They were not "night terrors" as is commonly thought, but I now know they are related. He was having some sort of delta sleep parasomnia. Sleep walking, teeth grinding, bed wetting, night terrors (not nightmares), and restless leg syndrome are all delta sleep parasomnias. Delta sleep is the 3rd and 4th level of sleep, the deepest level. You don't dream in that level of sleep, at least not in the usual way. But parasomnia will cause very strange things to happen, and the clue is when a child seems awake -- eyes open, moving around, making noise -- but doesn't seem to acknowledge you're even there.

I don't know if your child is acknowledging that you are there or not, but the reason I am stating this is because we tried a common doctor's advice: let him cry for X minutes and then sleep with him until he falls asleep; next time let him cry for X+5 minutes and then sleep with him; and so forth, each time increasing the X minutes. Unfortunately for our poor boy, this is what made his problem worse. I believe his parasomnia started due to a separation anxiety that began when we were attempting this method when he was 6-9 months old. It terrified him deeply to be alone, and ever since then it adversely affected his delta wave sleep and he developed a form of NREM parasomnia (NREM meaning Non-Rapid-Eye-Movement; as opposed to a REM or Rapid-Eye-Movement parasomnia, which are different is they occur while you are dreaming).

The lesson learned: methods like this that may have worked with other children actually gave our child problems and made them worse. Every child is different.

Our boy's problem always went away immediately when he slept in our bed at night. We would let him do that for a few nights and then try letting him sleep beside our bed on an air mattress and finally move him into his room, but it would start all over again.

In most countries, excepting the US and possibly the UK, babies and kids sleep with their parents for the first several years of life. I learned this while traveling, especially as my wife is Taiwanese and we spent a little time in Taiwan. The US is one of the few cultures who thinks it is better for babies and toddlers to sleep in a room of their own right out of the womb, and other cultures are actually horrified at this.

While I can't judge the right-or-wrongess of the US cultural notion, I can tell you that our kids always felt better sleeping next to their mommy and daddy, and there has to be an instinctive and deep-rooted meaning to that. Some kids can sleep by themselves pretty quickly -- our second boy was especially easy. But every child is different, and some kids experience a lot more separation anxiety. (We could not give our first boy any seclusive form of timeout. It was traumatic for him and not properly disciplinary. So "timeout" is another highly-preached methodology these days that I would only accept on a case-by-case basis.)

After learning this the hard way, we decided to just deal with it... We let him sleep in our bed when he needed to. It took a lot of patience. When he got to about 5, he started feeling more and more comfortable about sleeping in his room, and sometimes in the middle of the night he would get out of our bed voluntarily and go sleep by himself!. During his 6th year he hardly slept with us at all -- only a dozen times at best the whole year, and not all night.

His parasomnia has turned into a sort of insomnia, where he wakes up at 1 am and cannot go back to sleep. So what I have done is occupy him. I have a speaker with a wireless connection to my iTunes that plays audiobooks on a loop, and he'll listen to that sometimes and go back to sleep. But my wife hates it and thinks he will develop a dependence on it. I tend to disagree, I think it's a sleeping aid. But the alternative is better anyway: I set up a reading lamp over his bead with a cool-burning florescent bulb and he'll flick that on in the middle of the night and read a book. That makes his eyes heavy and he'll drop back off again, and it also beefs up his reading skills. Win-win.

I would advise trying to determine whether he is waking up during REM or NREM sleep, which might require the help of a doctor who specializes in sleeping disorders (even if he may not have a disorder), and also just being patient and sleeping with him the way he needs it. His "tantrums" may be interpreted as such, but it may be a mixture of anxiety (insecurity) and simply being overtired, as kids his age still get very cranky when they are tired. I don't think he's just trying to get what he wants, like a particular food or toy, as in a real tantrum. He needs the comfort and security that only you offer him to sleep through the night, and you need to provide it for as long as possible. It won't last forever. At some point he'll develop enough confidence to sleep by himself through the night.

My 18 month old still gets up every 2 to 3 hours at night to nurse. I'm going nuts. Husband works nights so he is no help. Also CIO method she screamed for 3 hours!!!! I couldn't stand it after a while and had the 4 yo in my bed in my room with the door shut and we were still up most of the night. (The 18 month old and 4 yo share a 10x10 room and the whole house is only about 800 sq ft so it is a tiny space with no place to run from the crying/yelling) It was torture for all and the next night she was worse!!! I NEED SLEEP too so I will try some of your helpful answers! Just know you are not alone.!!! A.

First of all, why does he still use a bottle at all??? Children should be done with the bottle by 12-14 months. Weening them any time beyond that makes it so much harder. And if he still gets a bottle throughout the day, then he is going to expect it at night. Get rid of the bottle immediately. Also, rocking him to sleep is an issue too. He has become so dependent on you and his bottle to get him back to sleep that he can't fall back to sleep on his own. Young children naturally wake up several times per night when there sleep cycle changes, and whenever this happends, he is relying on you, when he should be able to quickly and easily fall back asleep on his own. My kids were always good sleepers, but we did use CIO on a few occasions,. It is hard at the time, but if you are consistant and don't give in it only takes a few nights... honest. And our kids turned out just fine! They are happy, well ajusted, loving children who sleep well! Good luck to you. Be strong!

I agree that you need to train him bit by bit to wait longer and stick to it, but also do research or ask for advice. Ours slept pretty well, but went through a similar stage a couple times. We decided to let her cry one or two minutes longer each time and don't let them see you waiting. It's one of the most painful things to bear as a parent, but it might be the best thing. Remember that they are taking cues from you as a parent in each routine that you set, however short. Good luck. The easier part is coming! You might want to start on a Friday when you both have off.

Growth-spurt.
18 months was, a growth-spurt.

My kids, didn't sleep through the night until they were already 2 years old. At growth-spurts, they still woke, more.
I was nursing my kids, and fed them, because I knew it was hunger.
They did not use me to 'pacify.' They DRANK. Heartily.

Or maybe he is teething?

Does he have a lovey?

Also, if he has not already, he is the age where 'night terrors' occurs (look it up online) and they have dreams/nightmares too. This can also wake them. But it is involuntary. It is their changing cognition and REM sleep patterns.

I'm afraid I agree with most other replies; he has you wrapped around his chubby finger. He need to learn to self-soothe and get back to sleep. Gradually is probably best, considering how long it's gone on. Would a pacifer help in the interim? It's another habit to break, but along to path to independence.
And if he does not have a lovey, security blanket or whatever, try to introduce one. It may take him a while to warm up to it, but just let him sleep with it for a while and he'll come to depend on it. 'Bear' always helps my daughter when she's stressed.
Good luck!

I saw a wonderful video when my daughter was born called "Your Baby Can Sleep" (they still sell it on Amazon). Here is the gist of what it tells you.... Everyone (even adults) wakes up several times during the night but simply rolls over and goes back to sleep. But imagine if you went to sleep in your bed and when you woke up in the middle of the night and you were lying on the couch in your living room. You'd be really startled and scared and be wondering how you got there and then obviously, you'd be wide awake.
That is what happens when you put your baby to bed with you and then move him back to a crib once he's asleep. The last thing he remembers is being in bed with his parents and then, when he wakes up, he's somewhere else and is startled because he doesn't know how he got there.
This video recommends putting a baby to sleep in a crib when he is drowsy, but not yet asleep. That way, the baby falls asleep knowing he is in a crib and then when he naturally wakes up an hour or two later, he is in the same place and can put himself back to bed. But it's important not to rock him, or put on music or anything that the baby can't recreate himself. If he needs rocking to put him to sleep at 9 pm, he'll need rocking again at 2 am....
Other than that, I did let my kids cry for a bit before running in to them. If you run in for every peep, you don't give them a chance to try to fall back asleep on their own.

Good luck. It's so difficult to deal with sleep issues. As a working mom, I know how hard it is. I had a bad few months when one of my twins was hospitalized for a heart problem. When he got out of the hospital, he was waking every hour b/c they woke him up every hour in the hospital to do tests. I was afraid to let him cry b/c of the heart thing. Ultimately, I just let him cry it out. One night, I put him to bed and he woke up crying at 11 pm. He cried for 55 minutes straight and then just stopped. After making sure he was still alive, I tiptoed out. And he slept fine after that night...

Keep in mind that I did some AP aspects. However, a year and a half is too old to be given a bottle feeding and fall alseep in your arms. Bottle feedings are for infants, and giving him a bottle in the middle of the night is just encouraging him to wake up. I'd start a new bedtime routine, a little milk in a sippy and in bed awake. He may be teething molars or may have an ear infection, take him to the doc to check those things out, but otherwise it may simply be bad habits, and you may not be able to put a stop to it without crying. If you've trained him not to know that his bed is for sleeping, he doesn't know what he's doing in there. What he needs is not a bottle, but to be put to sleep in his crib at bedtime, awake. You need a non-infant bedtime routine. Also, I would up his food intake during the day - toddlers don't get bottle feedings, their milk is a beverage to accompany meals, their feedings should be food. If he's not getting enough food during the day, he may actually be hungry, but the solution is more food during waking hours, not bottles at bedtime and middle of the night. The problem will not magically go away on its own.

The only advise I can offer is what our ped. said many moons ago when I was faced with a similar problem. "If I woke you up in the middle of the night and gave you a cookie, how long do you think it would be before you woke up on your own demanding a cookie every night? So take away the cookie."

I stopped nursing my daugther in the middle of the night to put her back down and, after a horrible couple of days and trully pissed off neighbours, it ultimately resolved itself.

My youngest woke up a bunch in the middle of the night for a LONG time! I would nurse her in the middle of the night until she was 16 months. It was a comfort thing. when she woke up, she needed some comfort to fall back asleep. Sometimes she may have been hungry, but mostly she just didn't want to be alone. So I put a mattress on the floor in front of her bed. For about a week, I slept in there. If she woke up in the middle of the night I would go into her room and lay on the mattress (it was on the floor right in front of her bed). She just needed to know that I was there. She would scoot herself over to the edge of her crib and hold my hand. It was really sweet. It lasted about a week and then she was fine. I also made sure she had a pretty big snack before bed (she loved cottage cheese so I just gave her tons before bed). I wanted to make sure that I knew she wasn't hungry. I also give her a sippy cup full of milk that she can take to bed (i know someone is going to say it's bad for teeth but as long as they aren't sleeping with it in their mouths its ok). Know she is sleeping on her own and I only occasionally go in when she wakes up early in the morning (between 5 and 6) otherwise she is sleeping alone-HOORAY!!! I don't like crying it out adn was not interested in even trying that. I hope you find something that works. Not sleeping is not fun! Good luck!

he is 19 months old and still on the bottle? but try switching him to a sippy cup for milk and everything and give him a snack before bed