15 Month Old Won't Quit Screaming

Put her in time out as soon as she starts and make her stay there until she is done. This may sound harsh, but my friend was having a similar issue with her daughter, who is 2, and what she would do is instead of screaming, she would starting whine-crying, making a horrible high pitchd whining sound while crying. I told her to do that consistantly, and she did, and it only took a few days before her little one got tired of sitting there. The key is that you have to be absolutely consistant with it, every single time she does it she goes in time out, even if you are in a store you find a place to make her sit it out, and you have to ignore it completely while it is happening. If she gets out of time out, and is still screaming, put her back. It will be hard while you are doing it, but it has worked on my almost 3-yr old when she started that stuff about 18 mo ago (she was about 19 mo at the time), and it worked wonders for my friend's little girl. Good luck with this, and remember to be consistant!! I can't stress that enough!

My 2 year old girl has been doing this since she was 6 months old-- but she does it for fun-- not just when she wants something. I can't handle the noise-- I am very sensitive to noise in general and her screaming really got to me. So... I talked with the doctor and they had no suggestions. What I did, and it worked, was I decided that if she screamed because she didn't get her way, I would walk away (if it's safe) and ignore her by going into another room. If she was screaming just to scream (again, not upset-- just for fun)-- I got a spray bottle and put lemon juice in it-- I would tell her not to scream and would spray it in her mouth. She quickly got the message about the screaming and I only had to threaten with the bottle. When she got a bit older and could talk, we discussed it. Now.....she still screams periodically to push my buttons and I put her in time-out for it or remove some priveledge from her. It still occurs occasionally, but not very often. I allow her to scream outside when she is playing and at times she will scream with joy or with excitement when she is being tickled.... so I am not super strict-- but I have set firm limits with her and she knows them. But, she was so young when it started and I could not handle the noise that I chose to do this with the lemon juice and it worked-- I got it from a friend who had a developmentally disabled child and she used apple cidar vinegar. Please don't think I was mean or abusive to my child because I used lemon juice to help her understand that it was not acceptable behavior-- given my options at the time and her age, it was the only thing I could do to stop it.

Mel

Hey J.,

My son went through this right around the same time. It is hard. My husband and I felt very strongly that we could not just let this behavior happen and that time would not "take care of it." Although this is a stage where they will more readily scream (b/c they can't yet communicate any other way) it still needs to be shown to them that screaming is not an acceptable behavior. Our primary form of discipline is time out. We do time outs in his crib with a timer (like a kitchen timer). Usually just 5 min. He definitely knows the difference between time out and nap time, b/c with nap time with read stories and cuddle and put him down. With time out, he knows, we just put him in there and explain, "Isaac has time out for screaming. There can be NO screaming." And although he would scream a while during time out, it still was a consequence. It is like this, he can choose to scream, but if he does it there will be a consequence. I cannot control his screaming, but I can choose how I will respond to it. And we definitely need to respond to it. Now that brings me to another scenario. When they scream in public or in the car. This is hard. Obviously you can't put them in time out. We tried ignoring it (only appropriate in the car) and not reacting. I only recommend this is it is your last resort. Ideally, if you have time, it is best to pull over the car and in a firm voice say "No screaming. When you scream in the car, you will get a spanking." And while you are pulled over, give them an appropriate spanking (NOT in anger, NOT as a reaction, but as a very controlled, loving discipline--and ONLY if pulled over!). This is hard but it does eventually work if you are consistent. If you don't have time in the car to do that the best bet is to just ignore. No reactions. Don't speak at all to them while they scream. After a long while they will realize it is not getting them anywhere.

In public what I have done is to take Isaac to the bathroom and in a calm way explain that I love him but that he cannot scream and his consequence is a spanking.

The absolute best way to quell the screaming phase is to begin to teach your child sign language. It really works if you stick to it. Google it and see what resources you can get to help you. Isaac loves it b/c it gives him alternative ways to communicate to me. Hope this helps!

I never got this to stop. My 5-yr-old does it, but only at home when everyone's trying to go to bed.

My 12 month old just started the whole screaming thing. Other than that, she is the best baby in the world. Happy all day long. I think that she is getting frustrated when she wants something because she can't tell me in words yet, but I definitely want to stop this screaming thing right away. All of this is great advice. Thank you to all who posted.

Yes, my dd did it too. (she's 23mo now) Like some others, I just firmly (in a solid voice, not yelling or angry) told her, "No, that is not how you get ___" or "No, we don't scream," depending on whatever the situtation might be. If she's wanting something, I'd afterward say, "Say please (and sign the word "please" as you say it) if you want _____." When she fusses for something now, we still tell her, "No, you need to ask," or "How do you ask?" and she'll quickly calm down and sign "please".

I can't emphasize enough the importance of teaching your child sign! Children can use their hands much sooner than their mouths. (Although, they may not have the exact same motor skills / interpretation of how to do the signs as we do. Ex: sometimes my dd brushes her hand across her other arm and sometimes she brushes her chest when she means "please", rather than making a circle movement with her hand in front of her chest.) Check out books in the library. You can probably find baby sign books, as well as ASL ones. My dd started signing at 15 months, and it's been gold!!! Tantrums occur because of frustration, and boy does this reduce frustration!

Personally, I wouldn't want to do anything to my child that I don't want her doing to someone else. Children learn from their parents what is appropriate and what is not, and typically whatever they see their parents do is automatically processed in their minds as "appropriate behavior".

Hi J.,
I have a 16 mo old that just went through this stage. I did a couple of things- not sure which one worked, but he finally stopped that squealing/screaming. I got down on his level, took his little arms, and spoke "HUSH, MATTHEW!" as loud and sternly as I could without yelling at him. This method took some repeats but he eventually knew I meant business.
Also, I would sing or play the radio loudly... esp in the car when he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs :) He loves music and would stop to listen, or I would sing opera and he just got tired of competing? Who knows.. at least we know where he got his lungs from.. haha
Good luck...

I'm not sure on this one because my neice does it. She is three now and has done it since she was crawling. I don't know how you would go about breaking this, but if you find out, please let me know so I can get my neice to stop.

I would scream back and then scream louder. You can not allow a 15 month old to run you or your house. I would even suggest a screaming chair of some sort that maybe she is allowed to sit in when she has her outbursts. I am a mom of 5 children ranging from 5 to 12 years old. Each child is different and yet the same need for attention manifested itself in various ways.

We went through this pretty bad about a couple months ago... sometimes he still does it but it's NOWHERE as bad as it used to be. I blew a Puff of air in his face & it startled him at first just enough to make him stop. then I got in his face & did the hush yelling (yeah y'all know what I'm talking about the mom yell where you dont want anyone to really hear you yell HAHA) & basically said NO We Dont act like that! or whatever along those lines. it takes some repeating but eventually they get the idea that HEY Momma's not putting up w/ that. He still does it in the car because to him car=sleep & sleep is a mortal sin to that boy lol so i use earplugs sometimes in the car when the screeching is just too bad. hey at least you keep some sanity on the road lol good luck!

J.,
I would just recommend totally ignoring her behavior. Remain completely calm (as possible), but turn your back to her and walk away to appear to be carrying out somekind of chore or other task. She should not get a reaction for unwanted behavior. She is little but, you could try "time out" a minute for every year since she has been born, so for 2 yr. old, 2 minutes. If she gets up, calmly take her back, say something like "You have to sit in time out, because we don't scream." You might think of something better. After you take her back, go back to what you were doing. OR you my have to sit with her the first few times, but remain (or at least pretend) to be calm, and do not look at her or do anything that will give her attention. Do not give the screaming any attention. Try to get her to use her words, and continue to be persistent and consistent. THis part is so hard because we love our little ones and they can sure lay on the manipulation and make you feel so guilty. It may not work like a charm for awhile, but just keep doing it. Also if there is company around like Grandmas and Grandpas or such, take her to another room to get her away from the "audience." Ask for everyone around to give you support in this, but if you can't get it, don't let that be a stumbling block, just do the best YOU can. Whatever you do, do not give her something she wants if she screams to get it (of course, tend to her hunger and health needs. Continue to talk to her (not with baby talk) ...just clear and simple .... like, "Tell me what you want with your words." "Mommy doesn't scream and daddy doesn't scream." If the talking tends to aggitate the situation, wait until she is calm to talk to her, but do not let her get a psoitive reaction for the screaming. It may appear funny to some (friends/family), but ask them to refrain from laughing or "petting" her. I know it is tough. Hang in there, pray, and don't give up. This too shall pass...provided that you provide her with a nurturing, safe, healthy, and disciplined environment. One day she will be almost 10 like my little girl and you will be wishing she were 2 again.

A.

Hope some of this helps,

Hi J.! I also have a 15 month old who is doing something similar. He just recently starting screaming if he doesn't get his way, etc. I took him to the doctor last week for a check-up and asked her about this extreme change in his sweet, calm personality. The doctor told me that the terrible two's are starting already. She said that a lot of times children at this age get frustrated because they understand more than they can communicate and don't know how to let you know what they want. Her advise to me was to just ignore the screaming, she said even negative attention (such as telling them no, or glaring) will just fuel the fire. They will eventually learn that they don't get attention from that behavior. Hope this helps a little. Good luck, I understand it's hard to deal with.

Good Morning J.

Have you taken your daughter to your pediatrician? If you have and they have no suggestions (because sometimes the problem could be medical) then I will tell you what my mom did with my sister who did this many, many years ago (she is 60 now). This was the advice of her pediatrican and it is just from this experience that I am telling you this. She used a spray bottle and sprayed water in her face when she would scream and the shock of the water hitting her face seemed to startle her and she stopped screaming. My mom said it caused her to temporairly forget what she was screaming about. She only had to do this about three times and she never had the screaming fits again.

Now, as a grandmother when one of my grandchildren did this I had an entirely different approach. I just held on to him and hugged him tight and kept singing softly in his ear a song I love to sing to my grandchildren from years ago...I love you a busshel and a peck, a busshel and a peck and a hug around the neck. The secret I found was to sing softly into his ear and at first it is hard as they are so out of control but persistence pays off. It took awhile but he did eventually calm down.

Now my dear J. that is my two examples of how this was handled.